Dear Editor,
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It would be amiss of me not to respond to Jennifer Carter's (seven) address in reply, published on April 21, 2016.
That is the seventh time I have mentioned her name.
Six in my previous letter, not five as she has incorrectly stated. Far be it for me to teach her basic mathematics.
I would also like to take the opportunity to acknowledge the number of people who have contacted me to express their concerns as to the content of the subject letter published on March 31, 2016. We can't all be wrong.
Jennifer Carter (eight) has in fact now come down to Earth and acknowledged her problem.
"Prehaps I did not express myself clearly enough."
An admission of guilt.
I rest my case, Your Honour, you may now impose sentence. Thank you linesmen, thank you ballboys, good night Harry.
Yours Faithfully,
Noel Johnson.