WITS got a little serious last week, but I hope you all got a little something from those words.
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This week we’ll brighten up and look for a little humour even though Boorowa has lost so many wonderful citizens of late.
Gwyne Gorham’s passing brought memories to mind of her late husband Rex. I asked Russell what happened to Charlie, rex’s ventriloquist dummy. Russell assured me, appropriately, he is securely locked away in his case.
Rex and Charlie were doing a seniors’ Christmas gig at the Recreation Club several years back. I was on Council at the time. Rex was prattling away to Charlie about what he’d like to do with his life. Fireman, policeman, the usual replies came forth until Charlie, in a strong tone said, “I really want to be a Councillor on Boorowa Council!”
“You can’t be a Councillor on Boorowa Council!” came Rex’s reply.
“Why not?” demanded Charlie.
“Well,” said Rex, “You’re not bright enough, haven’t got the brains. You’re a dummy!”
Charlie, with a laugh in his voice, replied, “How come John Snelling’s on Council?”
WITS
You’ve got to love Miss Merna, the church organist, who was into her eighties and never married.
The Pastor came to visit her one Spring afternoon and he was welcomed into her Victorian parlour, asked to take a seat, while she prepared afternoon tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl filled with water sitting on top of the organ. In the water floated of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise.
When Miss Merna returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat.
The Pastor tried to stifle his curiosity regarding the bowl and its strange floater, but curiosity got the better of him. “Miss Merna,” he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” (pointing to the bowl).
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking down town last Autumn and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it will prevent disease. And you know … I haven’t had a cold all Winter!”
WITS
Much has been in the news lately about baby formula being bulk purchased to send to China, affecting supply to Australian families. There is an alternative.
Students in an advanced biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last, high scoring question was, “Name seven advantages of mother’s milk”
One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:
It is perfect formula for the child.
It provides immunity against several diseases.
It is always the right temperature.
It is inexpensive.
It bonds child to mother and vice versa.
It is always available as needed.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
It comes in two attractive containers and it’s high enough off the ground that the cat can’t reach it.
He got an A.
WITS
Humour is wonderful medicine, but unfortunately we all must face disaster, of which war is perhaps the worst. Gather at our War Memorial on Sunday November 11, 10.30am, to commemorate the Centenary of that time signifying the end of wars to end all wars. We’d hoped.
