Life can get a little serious with dreadful things happening around us, even Prime Ministers taking the mickey out of American Presidents.
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Seriously, awful things occur in this world almost daily, so this week I’ve endeavoured to lighten things up.
We need to laugh now and then because tomorrow can just as easily bring tears.
WITS
On May 4 I wrote of a lady golfer so intent on trying to win her first golf trophy she put the fire, she thought raging, on her property out of her mind.
She has experienced a little success, but if you’re going to win, win big - like the Canemunbla Cup.
Congratulations Felicity Corcoran, maybe that incident a couple of months ago created the determination and concentration to win on the long weekend.
WITS
This Saturday night June 24 is the Anglican Parish Dinner, 7pm in St John’s Parish Hall.
Always a great meal with new locum priest Rev Geoffrey and Meredith McAuliffe speaking about their experiences in the ministry.
RSVP was yesterday June 21, but give Dawn Barton 6385 3054 or Cathy Walsh 6385 3251 a ring ASAP and you should get in.
WITS
A Sunday School teacher, reviewing the day’s lesson enquired, ”And now children, who can tell me what you must do before you can expect forgiveness of your sins?”
There was a pause, but finally one little boy replied, “Well,” he mused “first we’ve got to sin.”
WITS
Father O’Malley rose from his bed in his Washington Parish.
Walking to the window, he took a deep breath admiring the beautiful day outside when he noticed a dead donkey lying on his front lawn.
He promptly rang the White House.
“Good morning, Donald Trump speaking. How may I help you?”
“And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a donkey lying dead on me front lawn and would you be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of this matter?”
Trump, considering himself to be quite a wit, recognizing the Irish accent, replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence for a moment, then Father O’Malley replied, “Aye, ‘tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, hence I called.”
WITS
A sales rep, administration clerk and their boss find an antique lamp on their way to lunch.
On rubbing the lamp a genie pops out saying. ”I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
The admin clerk quickly says, “Me first, I want to be in the Bahamas lying on a beach with not a care in the world.”
Puff she’s gone.
“Me next,” says the sales rep “I want to be relaxing on a beach in Hawaii with a personal masseuse and an endless supply of pina caladas.”
Puff he’s gone.
“Okay, you’re up,” says the genie to the boss,
“I want those two back in the office in an hour.”
Proves the boss should have the first say.
WITS
Malcolm’s in trouble for having a laugh at Donald’s expense.
Now if Donald gets upset, maybe Malcolm should consider these words:
“Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess a sense of humour. He will always use it in evidence against you.” (Herbert Beerbohm Tree)
