Confession time. Lately, I’ve been guilty of groaning about the number of feminist-type articles around. 

It felt like they were saturating my internet feeds and the front pages of a number of news websites I like to flick through. A chorus of voices singing the same rhetoric, that to me seems like common sense, over and over again.

I was so sick of them though I can’t actually tell if they really were everywhere I looked, or if, in reality, it was actually probably my brain somehow automatically seeking out the bylines of female writers or eye-catching words like rape and domestic violence because stories covering those issues have been so dominant recently. 

Do you see what I did there? (And for the record, I did actually think like that at the time.)

I turned the blame back on myself. It’s my fault for being sick of seeing and reading feminist articles because I am unconsciously automatically seeking them out. 

It feels like that attitude pervades every aspect of life these days. In the above example it’s pretty harmless because everyone has a right to free speech and I have the right not to read it. It’s when it affects others that it becomes the real issue.

My irritation with the amount of feminist articles I was seeing and reading (it’s your own fault Emma, pick something else!) stemmed from exhaustion.

Exhaustion of reading AGAIN that another woman died after being beaten by her partner for no reason, another woman in the world was sexually assaulted and died as a result of her injuries and yet again someone in a position of power saying, after a girl who reported being sexually assaulted by a group of men while innocently walking home, that women shouldn’t walk alone at night. Or at all ever, really. 

I’m beyond exhausted now. Now, I’m joining that chorus. 

My outrage is real. I am offended and I feel defiant. I’m not sure why I’ve taken Albury mayor Kevin Mack’s comments in particular to heart. God knows there’s been so many other reports of the same type of comments, perhaps it’s because I have family in Albury, but whatever the reason, for a man in a position of power like Cr Mack to say what he said is just plain wrong.

For the record he said: "I always have encouraged women not to walk alone, to have someone with them at all times, because that in itself is an invitation for someone to take advantage of you." In every instance a sentence like this is uttered from anyone it reeks of that person trying to cover their own ass so in the future, if need be, they can say, ‘Well, I warned you to be careful.’

Cr Mack has since apologised and that is all well and good but yet again the real problem is highlighted – the default attitude that the victim, that women, should take more precaution to keep themselves safe. Victim blaming.

Here’s just one thing that has struck me about this alleged assault. It was 6.20pm ... 6.20pm! The girl was walking home from work and the footbridge she was going to take is right near the CBD, a part of town that is usually busy, the mayor said.

My work means that I finish work anywhere from 5.30pm to midnight, and I can’t always park my car close to work. If I finish work at night and can’t walk to my car or home at a time when the majority of others would be out walking, whether it also be home from work or for exercise, then when can I walk alone? I shouldn’t have to live my life, or choose my job, based on whether I can walk home in daylight with a bodyguard.

Here’s something else that struck me as strange while mulling over the mayor’s comments and this situation; as a child most of us become naturally afraid of the dark. I can’t remember why I was afraid of the dark, it was probably just a natural progression of becoming more aware and curious of my surroundings. Whatever the reason, I went through a period of being afraid of the dark and slept with the bedroom door slightly ajar and a crack of light peeking through. It always comforted me. It brightened the shadows where my mind would create hidden monsters. Eventually I grew out of it. 

Now, in a way, it feels like women are constantly being told to be afraid of the dark again. It’s not safe to be in the dark because there is a different, more real type of monster out there waiting to maybe attack us if they so feel like it - man. Now is most definitely the time for me to say that I don’t mean all men in general will attack a woman. Indeed, I have some incredibly fun, kind and loving men in my life who would never attack anyone and also believe it is utter crap women are told to take so many precautions just to walk down the street. 

Except, it’s not just the dark that we need to be worried about now, it’s daylight too. An attack could happen anywhere, anytime and to anyone (names like Jill Meagher, Masa Vukotic instantly spring to mind), and that outrages me. 

Whenever things like this happen and the seemingly inevitable comments like Cr Mack’s are made, I feel like a child again. And that offends me. I don’t want to be afraid of the things I was afraid of as a child. I am an adult woman living in the year 2015 and I want to live my life without the shackles of someone else’s dysfunction possibly mentally and physically hurting me. I want to live my life without fears I know can be prevented.

I have no hard and fast solutions for what is happening. And I’m not sure there is one hard and fast solution. That’s not what this article is about. When it comes to our own safety the buck stops with us, I understand and accept that, and to a certain degree that is fair, but as with anything there is a line. There comes a point where others have to take responsibility for their own actions. They have to be aware of the attitude they have and put out into the world. They need to know the difference between right and wrong and care about doing the right thing. They need to respect other living human beings. They need to think before they speak. Writing these things is repetitive. They’ve been said before and they’ll no doubt be said again. For the record, here are the things that have previously exhausted my eyes and ears but that clearly need to be repeated because maybe, just maybe, if they are repeated enough the message will at least start to filter through to the sections of society that need to heed it the most:

I’m tired of hearing of another rape, another murder, another thoughtless caution for women not to do something we are well within our rights to do. We should do things. We should speak out. We should repeat our opinions until they are heard and listened to. We should be defiant towards the default attitude.

I have a voice, this is my defiance, this is my addition to the chorus in the hope for change.

Emma Sartori is a journalist with Fairfax Media.